Screams of Desperation

Its been 5 months after SPM and everince, I haven't studied... AT ALL!

Next week is exam week and I feel lost. I've forgotten how to study. Imagine my brain that has been hibernating for months. Its like a book that has been chucked at the corner of a shelf for months, a jewelry box that has been in the closet for months and is covered with a thick layer of dust. Now you get the picture? I need to blow that dust off and quick. The first few weeks of class was actually the most difficult period for me. I was not used to paying attention in class because I had stopped listening to my teachers ever since Form 1. Bad habits die hard. Plus, considering how rusty my brain was, pretty much only 20 percent was absorbed in. This meant I have alot of catching up to do.

Honestly speaking, thinking back, after Form 5 I felt rather invincible. In Primary School I used to be a top student. Unfortunately, when I started High School, my academic results started to deteriorate because boys, sports and club activities got in the way. By the time I reached Form 5, my results were crappy. My trials results should be thrown on a rough surface, trampled on by elephants, run over by tractors, soaked in cow dung and burnt. Then the ashes should be buried under a construction ground. That's how bad it was. AH! Dang! It wasn't that bad. I just like to exaggerate. But it was bad for my standards and my partents' as well. Then only 2 weeks before SPM, I pushed myself to study until my brains were totally worn out. I spent days in the library, from opening until closing.



There wasn't much time for me to cramp in both the Form 4 and 5 syllabus. But, with a lot of prayer and God's grace and mercy, I managed to some how pull it off and get 7A's. It was definitely tiring, those sleepless nights and weeks of burning midnight oil. So I promised myself and God that in the future I would be a nerd and start studying early.

I should slap myself for making empty promises. Seriously.

The outcome of my SPM results had made me feel like I could study anything in a short period of time. Hence, every time I think of opening my textbooks to study, I would procrastinate again.

Here I am, on the last week before taking midterms, blogging about how stupid I am for not starting revision when I have plans lined up for me on the weekend. Truthfully, its my own fault. This week I tried to rush all my assignments due this week. The reason I had to do that is because of pure stupidity, lousy time management and poor discipline. I procrastinated, again. Procrastination- its a dangerous thing.

'Procrastination killed the Candice'

I know. Its so uber lame.

Pretty much this week before exam I am supposed to be studying has been a total failure. I guess I have to cramp in all revision with whatever time I have left of the week.

"LORD, give me strength!"

My brain has to once again go through hell.

Books vs Puffy Pillows

Books, Notes, Words... They haunt me even in my sleep. Midterms are only a few days away and I still have yet to make progress in my revision.

This is bad. Bad, I tell you!

I have jailed myself in my room only to leave when I need to eat or use the toilet. Unfortunately, temptation is right in my room. The greatest evil of all, the bed.



It is a silent killer that just lies there motionless. It never says a word but instead it uses seductive signals with its body indicating dangerous motives. It pulls you towards itself as if there is a magnetic force that surrounds it. The moment you come in contact with it, It indulges you in its arms, wrapping you so tightly, blurring all rationality and consciousness of mind. Hours and hours go by and you do not realise the damage that has been done. It takes you to a place where your mind wonders away. Further and further until you are hooked. When finally you gather enough will power to fight its evil, it is already too late. The damage has already been done. There's no way to turn back time now. All you can do is hope and hope that you can compensate for what you have done for your guilty pleasure. The bed-evil that cannot be resisted.

Sitting in my chair, guilty of a long satisfying nap, I stare at the words in my textbook. Thoughts going through my mind, I am still in a daze. The sinful snooze I had still lurked around in my mind. I still cannot focus. My mind starts to wonder again. I think of things that are so unrelated to my subjects. Things like,"I wonder how I'd look like if I were a monkey?" or "Do my feet stink?." The time ticks away, waiting for no one and definitely not for me. Suddenly I find myself wasting away precious time again. The skies are already pitch black. There are no stars in the sky for in this city the lights are brighter than the stars. Time is running out again. I need to study. I NEED TO STUDY!

Flipping through my books, my eyes divert to my facebook. "Ooh... Shannon commented on my picture. I wonder what she said." I get hooked on facebook for at least an hour. Then I realise the time and I swear out loud. I sense the urgency to revise again and so the first thing I have to do is... UPDATE MY FACEBOOK STATUS: Candice I am going to study now. I must, I must, I must.

Before I can close the tab someone comments on my new posted status. I cannot fight the temptation of reading it and replying it. Then another person comments. Dang! I hate how fast technology works these days. And so the night continues like this. Msn starts to call me into its traps now with its annoying rings. As my fingers clatter across the keyboard faster and faster, I have now forgotten about my revision. I look at the time after being engaged in a long and hearty conversation with a friend I see everyday in class. 2 a.m. the clock, I hate it but it is a Saint compared to all the other evil objects in my room. It is always truthful but never kind.

Now I am trying hard to concentrate on my books. But yawn after yawn occurs. My back aches from sitting at the table for hours. My eyes are now squinting more often than usual. I am tired. The bed starts calling me again. I can feel its arms creeping around me, serenading me with a lullaby. The air conditioner is in cahoots with the bed now. Its gentle cold wind blows against my skin. My eyes start to close and so does my books. I seem to have been hypnotized by the bed. My feet drag closer and closer to the bed. As my head hits the pillow... it is too late. Another day gone, and the week is ending. Time is running out.


Preparation for the exams, still at zero percent. My week before exam? It is no different from the week before.

The Game that involves Small Balls and Long Hard Sticks

... Giggs has the ball, two Chelsea players on his tail, Neville is open, Giggs passes, Neville has the ball, running quickly, avoiding tackles from Drogba he passes to Rooney, Rooney, ROONEY,ROONEY... and he scores!...


*the crowd cheers*



Football, the most popular sport in the world. All the football fans around the world are linked by one sport. Isn't it amazing? *I sound like a Mass Comm text book- functions of mass media; linkage* Sorry, I just finished my first Mass Comm assignment. At least I am applying the knowledge. Miss Karmini will be proud. =D Should I do Harvard Referencing, then ?

One statement :




Sports, it is universal.



Sports has always been a part of my life, personally. Although I have short legs, abnormally large feet for a girl and run like a duck, I sill like the feeling of the sun on my skin and the adrenaline rush of playing sports. In my childhood days, which wasn't too long ago, I would play any sport. I was never the athlete in school. I was just willing to sweat and stand under the hot sun to enjoy a game. I was never embarrassed on how I waddled across the field, kicked the ball the wrong way or swung the racket wildly in the air but missing the ball totally. I could never excel in the sports in school because they all required running and I, obviously, can't.



My dad later on introduced golf to me and my sister. I didn't really enjoy it at first because it is an individual game and it was really boring just standing in one place learning how to hit a motionless ball. Where was the adrenaline? Where was the fun? But as soon as I got the hang of it, I got hooked. I soon had a good friend along side with me, learning the art of the sport.



Golf became my sport addiction. The best thing about it was that I didn't have to run. It was a walking game. *Thank God*




Many people call it an old man's game. Yes, I admit. It is rather boring to watch on TV if you don't understand the game and yes, there are many old men playing the game. But if you understand the game then its one hell of a game.

Golf is really challenging and it stimulates your brain cells. A good golf game is not based on impulse but on strategy. Its not just about swinging the golf club and hitting the ball blindly. It takes alot of mental strength and body coordination to hit the ball precisely at, what we call, the sweet spot. Imagine hitting a small dimpled ball while trying to focus on your wrists, knees and exertion of strength. The timimg must be precise to get a straight ball.
But being able to hit a straight ball doesn't make you a good golf player yet. There's still all the other skills that you have to master like chipping, putting and driving. Then there's hitting a draw ball, fade ball and a whole lot more. How good a player you are depends on your course management skills. The golf course is like a obstacle course. Every move made should be carefully thought through and executed after considering all risks. Mental strength also has a big influence on the game. A good golf player has to have the three C's; cool, calm and collected. Emotions will affect the result of the game. Etiquette is another thing that is taken very seriously in golf. This is why golf is also known as a gentleman's game.





I am not a super good golfer but I enjoy the game. It's actually good fun and definitely suitable for people who like to socialize. Unlike other games that require speed, golf gives the players time to bond on the course. In my 4 years of playing golf, I've had some awesome experiences.





I remember the first time I drove the buggy/golf cart. Oh my! I was only 15 then and I had no idea how to drive one.


It was during MSSJ (state level) when I first lay my hands on the wheel of the mini, battery running vehicle. I already had butterflies because I was so nervous about the competition and now, to add on the intensity, I had to drive a buggy when it was totally foreign to me. I placed my hands on the wheel, excited and nervous at the same time. I stepped on the peddle, trying not to exert too much pressure at first. All was going well. I actually got the hang of it pretty fast until I turned the wrong way and had to reverse. The boys, under 18 category was already teeing off. The crowd had been waved down to pin drop silence. A familiar face was standing at the tee box. The concentration on his face was intense. When suddenly this low hard scratch of metal and concrete echoed in the silence of the surrounding. I had reversed right up the concrete curb, scratching the bottom of the car as I accelerated backwards. Everyone had turned and looked at me, a frown pasted prominently on their foreheads. "SHHHHhhh... !" The marshal growled at me, pointing his index finger straight at me. The boy who was about to swing his driver looked up at me, his face no longer intense but now, it had transformed into a grin. "Sorry, Irvin, " I mouthed. He shook his head as if a pardoning and he looked back down at his ball.





From that day onwards, I always made sure I knew which way to steer when reversing my buggy or car. That day was one of those epic embarrassing moments that I will definitely have to live with for the rest of my life.






Golf has given me back so much. Friends that I consider family, complete with our golf 'parents'; my school golf/addmaths teacher. The both of them moulded u be the golf players we are today. They taught us that it isn't just about being a good player and winning competitions but also to be well-mannered and rule abiding. That's what being a good sportsman is about.

\

Playing tournaments has given me exposure and experience that I never thought I could have gained in this lifetime. I have met many type of people from all around Malaysia, forming great friendships and making new connections.

Who knows, one day, they might just save my life. I have learnt how to be more sociable and confident of myself when meeting new people. Emotions that used to be wild and untamable are now more under control.

Who knew that just by swinging a iron stick at a ball not bigger than the fist could give teach me so many life lessons?

Sports, its not just fun, its beneficial too.

Golf, I just love it. The challenges of facing the course with only 14 iron sticks, one ball and gloves as a weapon, it is awesome. The challenge is different all the time, although the course is the same. But the feeling of standing under the sun or even under the rain sometimes, feeling the perspiration on my skin, looking at the green course, trees above filled with birds chirping away and taking in the fresh air in every pant, its just amazing.

In the words of Tiger Woods, "I don't go into any tournament thinking it would be great to lose. I think it would be asinine to think that way."

The rockin' beats within

It was a hot afternoon and the running water from the shower-head was just heaven to stand under. Music was blasting from the bathroom and it echoed through the whole neighbourhood. A loud, eeky voice that was obviously stunggling to hit all the high notes overwhelmed the loud music that could already be heard from miles away.

Since my adolecence years started, I always took my showers with the radio on. It was pretty much the only place I could sing at the top of my voice, unafraid to be heard because I thought nobody could hear me. *ya, right*
Then after 3 years of loud, horrible singing, I found out that actually all my neighbours could hear me when one of my neighbours told my mum, "Your daughter ah, very good at singing hor. Ask her next time sing Chinese songs. She sing Engrish songs, I don't know how to sing leh."

LIKE... ZOMG!
She was probably being sarcastic, but... I think I'll just assume that she meant it and I have a good voice. Eversince, I've been singing more in public. I am thick-skinned, you see. My friends say its annoying... But I know they like it. They seem to laugh alot when I sing. When people laugh its an indication that they're happy, no?



Music just turns my happy mood on. I get a bit high. I have all these weird dances and impressions for a few songs. When I hear the song 'Hey, Jude' all will hail me. AND, and, and... when I am rocking my air guitar, OMG! I bring the hiz house down. LOL. okay. enough self-praising. I feel so self-indulged now. But at least now you see how I am musically inclined! I had a video to show. But some problems occured when trying to upload.
try this link: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=390619030185#!/video/video.php?v=390619030185&ref=mf


Music, something everyone can relate to, no matter the genre. Music, it is within us all, even if it is burried deep down inside, it exists somewhere in our souls. Music helps us express ourselves when we find it too difficult to express our emotions.

Even in the Ice Ages music already originated. It was probably only the sound of the icy stones being drummed on with branches. Music later on evolved to the Mideval era. Then, Renaissance and later on in the 16th century, music started becoming more recognised with great composers like J.S.Bach who's death in 1750 marked the end of the baroque era. Mozart later on expanded classical music and following him closely was Beethoven who introduces the Romantic style into Classical. The Romantic era took over by storm with famous composers like Chopin. Then soon after, 20th century music came about.

But while all that was going on...

Some of the greatest artists were born;Frank Sinatra, Ambritha Franklin, Ben E King and Elvis Presley. Bands that took the world by storm like BeeGees and The Beatles also came about. Music quickly evolved into the modern days.



These days, there are new bands being formed everyday. I'm going to blog about 1 or 2 bands that are right here in Malaysia. First, a band that has current uprising popularity in Taylor's. Although the craze has not reached Lakeside, but they have already played in Subang and Sri Hartamas.

They call themselves 2nd to None. *please clap hands*


I know the guitarist personally, so I managed to get an interview over the phone.

History

Jon, the guitarist, originally was inspired by his sister's friends who were in bands, to start having a band of his own at the age of 12. A year later, he started high school in St. Francis Institution, Malacca. This was the place where the band started to come together.
Jon had met an old friend, Kim Wei from his primary school swimming days. They started reconnecting and talking about the idea of forming a band.

In form 2, Jon and Kim Wei was joined by Teh Teng Quan who played the drums. And so, they formed a 3 peice band with Jon on the guitar and Kim Wei on the bass. But Teng Quan soon broke under the pressure of feeling like he wasn't up to standard and so he left the band. He was quickly replaced by another drummer, Terry.

Jon took up the part of the vocalist in Form 3, but that didn't work out well because his focus on playing the guitar had defered. A new guitarist was brought in to resolve that problem. His name, Seth. They started writing their own songs and playing in small events around Malacca. Soon, the band started getting recognitionan and popularity was on the rise.

2 years later, after completing their form 5, the band started getting shaky due to the band members being pre-occupied with life. The drummer had gone to do his National Service and was unavailable to band practices for 3 months. More obstacles started to crop up after that. Seth had to leave the band temperorily for personal reasons. So now they were 2 members short.

But they soon saw the silver lining when they found a new vocalist, Gene to join the band. Jon had now gone back to being a full time guitarist. Terry, although back from NS, was still very busy and missed many jamming sessions. On mutual understanding, Terry left the band. Terence, another new drummer, *yes, there has been a series of drummers. For those counting, he is drummer number 3* Soon after, a 2nd gutarist, Jin Shan, joined the band.

Hence, the band was complete and here to stay. Recently they've had a series of gigs and played in two Taylor's events as guest performers.




Here's they're facebook link. http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/pages/2nd-To-None/128548021460?ref=ts



Here's a video of them playing at MMU faculty of Rock which they got 2nd place at. Its ironic that they got 2nd and their band's name is 2nd to NONE? so the band who got first is probably 'NONE'. LOL. sorry, couldn't help myself.


I should be getting payed for all this publicity. LOL

lyrics from one of their originals.

the first time when your eyes met mine,
you gave me butterflies,
the first time when you fell into my arms,
i felt the warmth of your love,
the first time when you walked in my way,
i knew you were the one,
the first time when i heard you speak,
you took my heart away

this could be it,
you're an impossible dream ,
you're the light in my darkest nights,
i might be crazy,but i know,
its all m y love for you

the first time i captured your smile,
i was head over heels,
the first time on bended knees,
you please be my everythin

this could be it,
you're an impossible dream,
you're the light in my darkest night
i might be crazy, but i know,
its all my love for you,
its all because of you,
i need your precious touch,
its all because of you

song writer: Jonathan Tan

Check them out.

There's another band. They're pretty popular in Monash. Yes, they are from Monash. Crossing Bouudaries. Check them out too. I am too lazy to continue this post... SO here's the link to their facebook. http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150200336705002#!/crossingboundaries
They have quite a few originals out that are pretty good. Personal favourite, 'I'm Sorry' . Check it out.

Lakeside from My side.

I remember my first day at Lakeside like it was just last week... Oh ya, it was. I was uberly excited. Well, not really, but still, it was a new beginning 3 weeks after my initial new beginning. Oh boy, this is confusing. Anyways, on my first day in Lakeside, I learned something new the very moment my lecturer, Mr Winston stepped in the class for Fundamentals of Management.

How many of you know what the short form 'fml' stands for?
I, for one, has never heard of it before.

So, that's the very first thing I learnt in Lakeside. I learnt that 'fml' stands for f*** my life. =D Very unforgettable.

Moving on, there are so many places I still haven't seen in Lakeside. Truthfully, I've only been to Block E, the food places and the library. Other than that, I haven't seen anything else. I heard Lakeside was supposed to be big. I've only discovered a incy-wincy, little part of campus, I guess.

No, I'm not very adventurous.

The lecture halls seem very pretty. Let me stress on the word, 'SEEM'. We don't get to use the lecture halls because there are only 41 people in our class. So unfortunate.

While sitting on the stairway outside class, Michele, Jeannette and I spotted cows. How awesome is that! Now I know where the cow farm is. The cows are so cute! Despite the smell, I still think they are uberly cute. I wonder if we can visit the cow farm.


You know how Taylor's has 4 campuses? Well, so far I've only been to the Pj campus, Lakeside and now, Sri Hartamas.
I would describe it as Lakeside, smaller, compressed.
Its small, but really the interior is really modern and reminds me so much of a mini version of Lakeside.



Sri Hartamas.

Lakeside.

See the similarities? Or is it just me?
Honestly, I like the feeling in Sri Hartamas, although I don't know anyone there but there's a kind of warm family feel there. Because its so small, almost everyone knows everyone, whereas in Lakeside, people just walk at a fast pace, hustling to classes without acknowledging anyone except their friends. I, am no exception.

One day, I hope everyone in Lakeside become friends. That'll be awesome. 10 000 people, ALL know each other. Imagine THAT! Imagine if the cows could talk and were friends with us too, if the table and chairs could sing and the walls smiled at us every time we walk pass. Wouldn't that just be outta this world?

Okay, okay... I am obviously going out of topic. Back to topic, food in Lakeside, not so great and really expensive. I've been eating at Crispy Popiah almost everyday because its so GOOD compared to everything else. The prices there are pretty reasonable compared to everything else in Lakeside. Yum, Yum, in my tum. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. *licks lips and rubs belly* But the thing is, its so hard to get a table at any food shop because there is always so many hungry people. WE NEED MORE FOOD PLACES *with cheap prices and a million tables. =D

The toilets in Lakeside are really confusing. I entered the male toilet a few times already. The symbols are so similar. I can't tell if its a man or a lady with a skirt. Its so weird. But the awesome thing about the toilets is that there are sufficient mirrors. Plus, there are toilets almost everywhere. So if your bladder is really full and about to burst, no worries, there's always a toilet nearby somewhere. Just be careful you enter the right toilet.

I must apologise for this post and I think I better stop here since the whole post I've been writing a whole load of nonsense. =D

All in all, after careful analysis and observation, my conclusion is that Lakeside has its awesome side and its not so awesome side.

The place I go to everyday, thats beside the lake.

After only 3 weeks of settling down in LCS, we moved into the new Taylor's campus; Lakeside.
First impression: HUGE!
Seconds later... "Where's the lake?"
Lunch time... "No place cheaper? OMG..." *checks wallet*
Yih Ling shows me the lake. Reaction: "Oh, so that's the lake... That's a lake?"
Went to the library: "OMG. *toot* freaking BIG. Looks exactly like the digital pictures. WOW. This is freaky."
One of the awesome things about Lakeside is the library. One word, "GROOVY"
Waiting for the shuttle bus: "WTH. So many people? Later we have to push, hard."
End of the day: I miss LCS.

But no doubt, Lakeside is so much more beautiful. Well, obviously, cause it's new. Oh, and yeah, it's good that all the air-conds work. So the classrooms are actually cold. But the thing is, LCS was comfy. Small, but comfortable. The food was cheap, and there was alot of variety. Convience, I would say is one of the things that LCS had that Lakeside doesn't. ATM machines, 7/11, stationary shops, top-up shops and the best thing is I didn't have to shove people in order to get onto the shuttle bus and if I miss the bus I could always walk back.

But at Lakeside, well, you get to... um... you get like... um... hm. I don't know. LOL. Take pictures with awesome views? Haha.


As you can see, I don't really like the new campus. I guess I need a little time to adjust. I took a whole load of pictures though. Its really pretty.




and thats only one part of it. Its really really pretty and BIG. But its not that difficult getting to classes because we are mainly always in Block E.

I'm really envious of the hospitality students! They have their own restaurants and a hotel?!
WHY oh WHY didn't I take hospitality?
*sigh* Mass comm isn't bad either... *sulky face*

The thing about Lakeside is the walls are so clean, I feel like taking a marker or something and scribbling on the white walls. *aiks. Maybe I shouldn't have wrote that.* There are so many people around, everywhere, and the lifts are always full. So morning exercise is now inevitable. Good news or bad news? When you're taking a walk in Lakeside and enjoying the view of the lake and the wind is blowing through your hair, you should immediately cover your nose or you'd get a whiff of cow dung. I'm not sure, but I heard there is a cow farm behind the campus.

I apologise for being so whiny.

I was told that Lakeside has almost 10 000 students *if info is wrong, I am sorry. My source of information is not reliable* So now there are more variety of faces to look at. *main point* more guys to scan through; hot or not? So, there is the silver lining around this cloud.

All in all,
Lakeside, I still need to get used to,
LCS, I need to forget you.

Hey, that rhymed! LOL. I am so proud of myself.

*I must apologise. This post, its a bit suck-ish. I don't really know what to write, so I am just typing whatever comes to mind so that I can reach 500 words. Sorry Mr. Winston.

The life in sleeping.

I kept running and running but I couldn't reach it... I just couldn't. It was dark, damp and cold. I could here the sound of flowing water and the scattering of sewer rats nearby. The stench was almost unbearable. As the cold air touched my skin, I felt chills creep up my spine. I could see a tiny spec of light at the end of the tunnel. But no matter how fast I ran, it was like I wasn't moving at all. The spec of light was like a spec of hope to me. I didn't know where I was and what dangers there might or might not be. All I knew was that I wanted to get out of here. My stubby legs never stopped moving. Perspiration from my head dripped to the floor, droplet by droplet it splashed on the slimy, cold ground. My legs started to get tired but my eyes stayed fixed on the light. "It's my only hope," I told myself. The light started to grow bigger and bigger as if I was getting closer. The small spec of hope expanded as the light did. I could feel my whole body become lighter and now, I could run faster than ever. Nearer and nearer I was to the light. I reached out my hand. YES! I can reach it... when suddenly I felt my stomach overturn. I was dropping. Down and down I went. The force of gravity seemed to pull me harder than it ever did. It felt as if I had left my heart floating above me as I kept on falling into a dark endless pit. I wanted to scream but somehow it was as if someone had put a hex on me and I couldn't scream. I opened my mouth and no sound came out... "What was happening?" ...

"THUD" ... Thank goodness. It was just a dream.

What have I been doing this holiday? ... I've been dreaming a lot. It ain't just regular dreams... I have really peculiar dreams.
This holiday, I had the luxury of sleeping a lot and therefore, resulting in having excessive dream time. Sometimes I don't remember my dreams. But some, I do. You know how it works. I'm going to blog about some of the darnest dreams I had during the holidays...

This dream is connected to driving. I had just gotten my license in the beginning of March and this holidays was the first time mummy allowed me to drive alone around town. And so... this is how the dream goes...

*The beginning is very peculiar and I can't really remember.* It was night time. The moon was shinning brightly and the stars had come out to play. My family and I were staying in a very high-class condo *Only in my dreams*. There was a really awesome lobby with a patio and pool. Beside the pool there were these really cute, white rotan chairs matched with a dainty white rotan table. In the swimming pool there was a floating bar. There was another family staying there. Some people I know. (but I can't remember who) I only remember that the lady was one of those typical Chinese stay-home-mums who are always poking their nose into everyone's lives. One day, I was waiting for the elevator, when this 'auntie' came and spoke to me. Being brought up to be well-mannered *ahem ahem* I responded to her conversation. She was, I felt, somewhat taunting me about how I could never drive although I had my license. Although I kept a smile plastered onto my face, her words seemed to have dug into my flesh and started to fester. Annoyed, I went upstairs and grabbed the car keys. The next thing I knew, I was in the car, driving, when I realised I drove the wrong car. I had taken my dad's Mercedes instead of my mum's car. All of a sudden I started getting nervous. I could feel my heart jumping so fast and hard that I swear it could've jumped right out. The Merc was bigger, longer and a whole lot more expensive to fix than my mum's car. The car was built in a different way so I wasn't used to driving it. Suddenly, I saw someone beside my car. He was holding a needle. We shall call him, 'the faceless boy' because I don't recall what he looked like. He then, pricked my car... for what reason? I don't know. But it made sense in my sleep. The car then deflated, as if it were one of those toy cars u have to blow up with air. I got out, picked up the now deflated Merc, put it under my arm and carried it back home. When I got back, I saw the auntie. She was chuckling at my misfortune and my dad was standing beside her, frowning. "Hi, Pa. Sorry about this. I blow it back up for you, OK? Don't get mad." I blurted out with a begging voice and sweet smile. Then I ran upstairs. On the way up... I woke up.


Weird? It doesn't make sense now that I've written it out. But when my eyes were shut close and my mind was busy in dreamland, everything seemed very normal and natural.

Moving on to the next dream...

It was a normal hot day with extra hotness and as usual I was sweating as though a water fountain. I remember I was holding 100 plus in one hand and snickers in the other. I didn't want to drink the icy cold 100 plus although I was being dried up by the sun. I was so focused on fighting the temptation of gulping down the icy freshness of the regenerating drink that was already in my hands.


I transferred my focus to the snickers bar. All I wanted to do was to rip its wrappings apart and sink my teeth into its delicious nutty-ness, savouring its magical flavour in my mouth. *sounds dirty, but please, keep your thoughts straight*



I was on my way back home. It was a rather strange day. Not many people were around. There were a lot of trees and the skies were filled with all sorts of birds. I turned into an alley, when suddenly someone grabbed onto me and held a knife to my throat. My first thoughts were, "Should've drank the 100 plus and ate the snickers when I had a chance. " My attacker had a young, uncertain voice at first, but later on he sounded more insistent. I told him to hold his knife a little further from me because I was scared it'll accidentally cut me. Then I told him to move a little further away from me because his body heat transfer was making me perspire even more than I was before and I didn't want to drench my brand new dress in sweat. Surprisingly, he did as I told him. When I could finally see my attacker's face, I found him actually kinda cute. *omg. Infatuating even in my sleep* Then I told him, "I have no money. I didn't bring my purse out. So, I can't give you anything. " He looked confused, as if he was trying to weigh his options. Then after a while he said very forcefully, "Give me the 100 plus and the snickers. Thats what I wanted in the first place, anyway." Heavy heartedly, I gave him the two things I desired the most at the time. He snatched it impatiently from my hands and walked off quickly. Then I shouted out to him, "Hey, you dropped your wallet. If I give it back to you, will you share the 100 plus and chocolate with me?" He didn't say anything and suddenly started running. I chased after him. The sky turned gloomy and the big droplets of rain started falling from the grey clouds. I ran into 7/11 for shelter. The guy at the counter was really nice. He told me to stay there until it stopped raining. After 2 minutes, I realised that the guy who had just mugged me was actually the guy at the counter. I approached him, and he smiled. Then all of a sudden he said, "Dragon up!" and transformed into the American dragon... then I woke up.


I think I was hungry when I went to sleep. As for the dragon thing, I was watching American Dragon on Disney before going to bed. *sigh* I have weird dreams that are significant to nothing.

What can I say, I have a vivid imagination. Unfortunately, it only happens in my dreams. =D

The Greatest Gift

I sat on the bed. I heard the ticking of the clock, tick-tock-tick-tock... In every tick, everything became clearer and clearer. Now I knew where I was and how I got there. It was simple and yet so hard to believe. Here I sat awake at 2 in the morning in a place so familiar to me,a place I felt safest in, my sanctuary. Was I dreaming? Could this be real? Am I... really home?

3 weeks,21 days and 504 hours have I been staying in a room so unfamiliar to me. Waking up every 2 hours at night isn't the most fun thing to do. Rushing down for the shuttle bus in the morning or walking to campus if I miss the bus, reaching class already drenched in sweat isn't very enjoyable. Coming home later to an empty apartment, staring at the four walls of my small,stuffy,rented room as it stares back at me and soon it seems like the walls are closing in on me. When dark falls, I dare not walk out of my unit, afraid of the evil that lurks in the night. Paranoid? Maybe... But growing up in a small town had spoiled me rotten. Now, living in the city all alone seemed so much more dangerous. The city was suffocating me, killing my personality and sucking out all the energy out of me. Exaggeration? Not really... I did feel that way.

This one week holiday, I'm spending it back home in Kluang. The feeling is worlds apart. I woke up on Saturday morning to find myself on my own bed. I woke up, and heard the chatter of my parents. Breakfast was set on the table just waiting for me to indulge. Ah, life was good... Pampered, I was. In the melodious words of Oliver Twist, "Food glorious food" Need I say more?

My mum, she always claimed I had too many groups of friends.

In the words of the wise Albert Einstein, "Only a life lived for others is a life worth living"

I know I'm wrongly using the quote... But still...

I joined various activities in school last time so I met many different type of people through different types of activities. First, my golf family. I love them. We've been through so much together. We started off as a few of the first junior golfers. Facing alot of discrimination from the golf club in the earlier days, we persevered alot together. Its usually hardship that brings people together and that is what bonded us even closer. We know each other inside out. We've stayed together during tournaments, seen the tears and laughter. I can just be myself around them and that's why I love them to bits.

My schoolmates. A friendship that blossomed over undone homework and disciplinary punishment. Literally, through thick and thin. So many memories formed, both good and bad. How can you not love the people you meet almost everyday for the past 5 years? The last two years of high school, my class, 5 STA 2, made 7 teachers cry and was blamed for the death of a teacher. Hows that for memorable? Its not something to be proud of... BUT, we'll never forget. Yes, I was a rebel in school. Thank goodness SPM results didn't suck too bad. Ah, we had some pretty awesome times in school. This group... It was music that brought us together. We call ourselves the Zubinators. Its a funny story how we became friends. We were linked together through a guy named Zubin; therefore Zubinators. We formed a band temporarily to perform for a charity event. We came out in the News Straits Times! But the important thing was that a special friendship was created. We're the next best thing next to the Beatles (in my head) =D
At first there were 3 of us. One migrated to Canada, and then there were 2. We've known each other since Standard 1. We go way back. If we wrote a history book it'll probably be super thick. Every time we meet, we talk for hours. I trust them with my deepest darkest secrets.The three of us were high school besties. The three musketeers? Well, almost. Where you see one, the other two are not far behind. The three of us are very different. I'm the goofy one. Zi Xuen is the smart one. Shannon is the sensible one. But some how, we managed to get along really well and ended up being BFF's until this day.

Hence, I've been going out everyday to meet my friends. I just feel like I owe them an explanation since I left so abruptly without informing anyone. To those of my friends that thought of me and worried for me... THANKS! LOVE YOU GUYS! and to those who didn't, *tut* =D

So, my holidays, I can sum up as eating well, sleeping well, catching up with friends and spending time with my family. It's probably not the most interesting holiday to blog about, but I'm pretty happy with my few days of holiday so far. Just that assignments are always hindering at the back of my mind.
*friends just called me from Singapore, a trip I was SUPPOSED to join. Blog about that in the next post.*

Tiger Coming Out Of The Woods

November 27, 2009: A day no golfer can forget. Rage, Disappointment, Sadness and a million more emotions played around in the heart of every golfer. This date has gone down in golf history. It was the day that the love and respect for world number one golf player, Tiger Woods was smeared.

It all started with a minor car accident but ended in a major mess. One that he could not climb out from.



News reported that Tiger Woods had met in an accident while leaving his home at 2.30 a.m. in his SUV on the 27th of November 2009. He had collided with a hedge then a fire hydrant and a tree down the street.

*information taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_Woods#Marital_infidelity_and_career_break*

The accident was the spark of a huge fire. The golf player escaped the accident with a few minor injuries. He later on made a public announcement that he takes full responsibility for the accident. He also praised his wife, Elin for breaking his car screen with a golf club in order to pull him out of the car. But that was certainly not the case. According to Mahalo.com, quote: The accident occurred two days after the National Enquirer alleged that Woods has been having an affair with a 34-year-old New York City club hostess named Rachel Uchitel. Soon after, many more affairs started to surface.

Cori Rist was identified on December 7 as another mistress. She allegedly met Woods at Butter, a popular night club in Manhattan. She was 31 at the time the news broke. Jamie Jungers reportedly had an affair with Woods in 2004, when she was just 20 years old—the same year the golfer married his wife, Elin Nordegren. Jaimee Grubbs, who was 33 at the time of the Woods scandal, came out to News of the World that she had an affair with the golfer in 2006.
Kalika Moquin, a Las Vegas night club promoter, said that she had an affair with Woods as recently as October, 2009. Jaimee Grubbs, a cocktail waitress from Los Angeles, claimed to have had a 31-month affair with Woods. On December 7, 2009, porn star Holly Sampson was identified as a mistress of pro-golfer Woods.

taken from: mahalo.com

This man, this great golfer, the man who once portrayed a family man, deceived the world. Who is this man we once looked up to and loved? No doubt, he was still the greatest golfer in the world. But who was he as a person? Nobody looked at him the same.



A young guy's response : He the man! Awesome. RESPECT. 11 affairs for so many years and he didn't get caught. Must learn from him lah...

A older man's response : Who cares about all this scandal. I only want to watch him play golf. Wah, he can really whack that ball. His swing ah.. tsk tsk tsk... perfect. Why is he so stupid. Waste money on so many mistresses. Too much money already. The more women the more trouble. Stupid wan lah.

A young girl's response : Tiger Woods... who's that? I only know Justin Timberlake plays golf. He's so hot.

A older lady's response : Disgusting fellow. Men are all the same. If one day I find out my husband has an affair then I'll cut of his *youknowwhat* and feed it to the dogs. I better check what that old man of mine is doing...

-common responses-

Tiger Woods, soon after, started loosing his sponsors. One by one they dropped their sponsorship. He had to put his career on hold and went for sex therapy to try to repair the mistakes he had made. But it was a hole too deep for even the highest paid athlete to dig himself out of. The public was not so forgiving either. In just a few months, the man lost his family,fans,fame and career. Even the LPGA and PGA players had something to say about his unforgivable acts. He lost almost everything he worked for.



After his pride and anything else left to his name was trampled and spat on, Tiger Woods came out with a public apology on the 19th of February 2010, promising to "start living a life of integrity"


*youtube-tiger woods apology video*

People were still unforgiving. There was definitely no silver lining on this cloud. Everyone thought that this was the end for the Great Tiger...

But then everyone deserves a second chance Somewhere, Somehow, even the most sinful man deserves to start over, to have a new beginning. On the 16th of March, golfers of the world were alerted once again to breaking news about Tiger Woods. He had announced that he would be returning to golf in the 2010 Masters. Some people were sceptical and judgemental while the others rejoiced. Even so, this was the first step he took to have his new beginning after walking through a storm of hatred and resentment. He managed to get 4th placing in the Masters, proving that he was still the same golfer he was before, just a little more humbled and having a little less people in his life.

Tiger Woods- Once labeled and flawless:-Almost perfect, now, after being exposed of his greatest flaws and mistakes,he has finally closed that miserable chapter of his life and started on a new one, hopefully, a better one.



This is his new beginning.

The Start of A New Chapter

Beginnings are different for everyone. Some are unforgettable ones, and some are ones that you want to forget. When you think about it, its crazy how many beginnings we have in one lifetime.

I can still recall the morning of my very first day of primary school. My heart was beating like an African drum. One hand was in mummy's hand and the other was left swaying in the wind. I was nervous but more afraid that I wouldn't be able to make any friends.You see, when I was younger, I was very shy and conservative. A million thoughts were running through my head. "Would I make friends? Would they like me?" In the end, I ended up being the dominant one in class and according to one of my friends, the school bully as well. Who would've guessed.
The beginning of a certain event doesn't predict the ending. Beginnings don't necessarily have to happen in the beginning of the year, month or week. I had a series of new beginnings this year. 10th of March, I had to wake up early for the first time in a long time. I woke up excited and full of anxiety which made me unusually hyper in the morning. Slightly nervous but very excited, I got in the car and drove to work,with mum beside me, for the very first time in my 17 years of life. My very first paying job. Full of expectation of how great the job will be and how many new friends I would make made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Unfortunately, when I reached there, it was far from what I expected, although I did meet some awesome people. The beginning of my new job in Popular bookstore was rough. It wasn't the best beginning to experience but after a few days I started to enjoy the work and the people I was around. Beginnings to great friendships were found, some, which changed my life forever.

The most current beginning, for me, is the beginning of my life in Taylor's University College. Going to college after high school is like a whole different level. Its like a new pathway, a foreign land, undiscovered and brand new, exciting yet unpredictable. Before I graduated from high school, I always anticipated the day that I would go to college. It was supposed to be an exciting journey, full of freedom and fun. It wasn't like that for me... at all.

Who knew that when one door was slammed in my face another would open immediately.

That day, that very sad, sad day, I was eagerly waiting for 2 p.m. My best friend, Shannon and I were waiting for a reply from Singapore. We had been planning to study in Singapore since the beginning of form 4 and now we were minutes away from the moment of truth. Anxiety grew quickly, our hearts were racing, flashes of the near future were running through my head. Waiting for the page to load on the website felt like a million years... and then one word appeared on the screen, 'unsuccessful'. It felt like a double-edged dagger had pierced right through my heart, pulled out, and plunged into my heart again, repeatedly. Emotions after emotions filled my head. What exactly was I feeling? I have no clue. The next thing I know, I was on the phone with Taylor's. The very next day, I was enrolled for Diploma in Communication. By that time, I had already missed orientation. All I could think about was how everyone must've gotten to know each other and how awkward I would feel on the first day of class, which I did. Everybody was pretty friendly and eventually, I managed to quickly blend in. I'm still quieter than usual and still haven't really opened up and gone crazy, but in time, I hope, I will be able to let go.With the help of my new college mates, I've been less homesick than when I was the first few days. Living alone, here in Pj, was quite a big stepping stone for me. It was the beginning of a new independent life. Pampered most of my life, I had to suddenly be able to wash my own clothes, take care of my own meals and find my own transport to get places. My parents were no longer a phone call away. I was living with 4 other strange girls I had never met before. Homesick, I was. The first week, I would say, I was on the verge of tears most of the time. Its been my third week here and still I miss my own bed. But I have gotten more used to staying here, on my own. Life has definitely gotten more interesting and challenging. I'm hoping that the beginning of this new chapter will have a happy ending.

God has guided me and taken care of me thus far. Putting my trust in Him, I have faith that He will help me overcome obstacles that may come my way.

"The Lord is my Shepherd , I shall not be in want."

Psalms 23:1, New International Version Bible.