Screams of Desperation

Its been 5 months after SPM and everince, I haven't studied... AT ALL!

Next week is exam week and I feel lost. I've forgotten how to study. Imagine my brain that has been hibernating for months. Its like a book that has been chucked at the corner of a shelf for months, a jewelry box that has been in the closet for months and is covered with a thick layer of dust. Now you get the picture? I need to blow that dust off and quick. The first few weeks of class was actually the most difficult period for me. I was not used to paying attention in class because I had stopped listening to my teachers ever since Form 1. Bad habits die hard. Plus, considering how rusty my brain was, pretty much only 20 percent was absorbed in. This meant I have alot of catching up to do.

Honestly speaking, thinking back, after Form 5 I felt rather invincible. In Primary School I used to be a top student. Unfortunately, when I started High School, my academic results started to deteriorate because boys, sports and club activities got in the way. By the time I reached Form 5, my results were crappy. My trials results should be thrown on a rough surface, trampled on by elephants, run over by tractors, soaked in cow dung and burnt. Then the ashes should be buried under a construction ground. That's how bad it was. AH! Dang! It wasn't that bad. I just like to exaggerate. But it was bad for my standards and my partents' as well. Then only 2 weeks before SPM, I pushed myself to study until my brains were totally worn out. I spent days in the library, from opening until closing.



There wasn't much time for me to cramp in both the Form 4 and 5 syllabus. But, with a lot of prayer and God's grace and mercy, I managed to some how pull it off and get 7A's. It was definitely tiring, those sleepless nights and weeks of burning midnight oil. So I promised myself and God that in the future I would be a nerd and start studying early.

I should slap myself for making empty promises. Seriously.

The outcome of my SPM results had made me feel like I could study anything in a short period of time. Hence, every time I think of opening my textbooks to study, I would procrastinate again.

Here I am, on the last week before taking midterms, blogging about how stupid I am for not starting revision when I have plans lined up for me on the weekend. Truthfully, its my own fault. This week I tried to rush all my assignments due this week. The reason I had to do that is because of pure stupidity, lousy time management and poor discipline. I procrastinated, again. Procrastination- its a dangerous thing.

'Procrastination killed the Candice'

I know. Its so uber lame.

Pretty much this week before exam I am supposed to be studying has been a total failure. I guess I have to cramp in all revision with whatever time I have left of the week.

"LORD, give me strength!"

My brain has to once again go through hell.