I can still recall the morning of my very first day of primary school. My heart was beating like an African drum. One hand was in mummy's hand and the other was left swaying in the wind. I was nervous but more afraid that I wouldn't be able to make any friends.
You see, when I was younger, I was very shy and conservative. A million thoughts were running through my head. "Would I make friends? Would they like me?" In the end, I ended up being the dominant one in class and according to one of my friends, the school bully as well. Who would've guessed.
The beginning of a certain event doesn't predict the ending. Beginnings don't necessarily have to happen in the beginning of the year, month or week. I had a series of new beginnings this year. 10th of March, I had to wake up early for the first time in a long time. I woke up excited and full of anxiety which made me unusually hyper in the morning. Slightly nervous but very excited, I got in the car and drove to work,with mum beside me, for the very first time in my 17 years of life. My very first paying job. Full of expectation of how great the job will be and how many new friends I would make made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Unfortunately, when I reached there, it was far from what I expected, although I did meet some awesome people. The beginning of my new job in Popular bookstore was rough. It wasn't the best beginning to experience but after a few days I started to enjoy the work and the people I was around. Beginnings to great friendships were found, some, which changed my life forever.
You see, when I was younger, I was very shy and conservative. A million thoughts were running through my head. "Would I make friends? Would they like me?" In the end, I ended up being the dominant one in class and according to one of my friends, the school bully as well. Who would've guessed.The beginning of a certain event doesn't predict the ending. Beginnings don't necessarily have to happen in the beginning of the year, month or week. I had a series of new beginnings this year. 10th of March, I had to wake up early for the first time in a long time. I woke up excited and full of anxiety which made me unusually hyper in the morning. Slightly nervous but very excited, I got in the car and drove to work,with mum beside me, for the very first time in my 17 years of life. My very first paying job. Full of expectation of how great the job will be and how many new friends I would make made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Unfortunately, when I reached there, it was far from what I expected, although I did meet some awesome people. The beginning of my new job in Popular bookstore was rough. It wasn't the best beginning to experience but after a few days I started to enjoy the work and the people I was around. Beginnings to great friendships were found, some, which changed my life forever.
The most current beginning, for me, is the beginning of my life in Taylor's University College. Going to college after high school is like a whole different level. Its like a new pathway, a foreign land, undiscovered and brand new, exciting yet unpredictable. Before I graduated from high school, I always anticipated the day that I would go to college. It was supposed to be an exciting journey, full of freedom and fun. It wasn't like that for me... at all.
Who knew that when one door was slammed in my face another would open immediately.
That day, that very sad, sad day, I was eagerly waiting for 2 p.m. My best friend, Shannon and I were waiting for a reply from Singapore. We had been planning to study in Singapore since the beginning of form 4 and now we were minutes away from the moment of truth. Anxiety grew quickly, our hearts were racing, flashes of the near future were running through my head. Waiting for the page to load on the website felt like a million years... and then one word appeared on the screen, 'unsuccessful'. It felt like a double-edged dagger had pierced right through my heart, pulled out, and plunged into my heart again, repeatedly. Emotions after emotions filled my head. What exactly was I feeling? I have no clue. The next thing I know, I was on the phone with Taylor's. The very next day, I was enrolled for Diploma in Communication. By that time, I had already missed orientation. All I could think about was how everyone must've gotten to know each other and how awkward I would feel on the first day of class, which I did. Everybody was pretty friendly and eventually, I managed to quickly blend in. I'm still quieter than usual and still haven't really opened up and gone crazy, but in time, I hope, I will be able to let go.
With the help of my new college mates, I've been less homesick than when I was the first few days. Living alone, here in Pj, was quite a big stepping stone for me. It was the beginning of a new independent life. Pampered most of my life, I had to suddenly be able to wash my own clothes, take care of my own meals and find my own transport to get places. My parents were no longer a phone call away. I was living with 4 other strange girls I had never met before. Homesick, I was. The first week, I would say, I was on the verge of tears most of the time. Its been my third week here and still I miss my own bed. But I have gotten more used to staying here, on my own. Life has definitely gotten more interesting and challenging. I'm hoping that the beginning of this new chapter will have a happy ending.
With the help of my new college mates, I've been less homesick than when I was the first few days. Living alone, here in Pj, was quite a big stepping stone for me. It was the beginning of a new independent life. Pampered most of my life, I had to suddenly be able to wash my own clothes, take care of my own meals and find my own transport to get places. My parents were no longer a phone call away. I was living with 4 other strange girls I had never met before. Homesick, I was. The first week, I would say, I was on the verge of tears most of the time. Its been my third week here and still I miss my own bed. But I have gotten more used to staying here, on my own. Life has definitely gotten more interesting and challenging. I'm hoping that the beginning of this new chapter will have a happy ending. God has guided me and taken care of me thus far. Putting my trust in Him, I have faith that He will help me overcome obstacles that may come my way.
"The Lord is my Shepherd , I shall not be in want."
Psalms 23:1, New International Version Bible.
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