Sigh. Recently it has just been listening for me. Listen, comfort, listen, comfort. Don't get me wrong. I love it. I love the fact that I have developed the skill of listening. I've always been the one who does the talking. It was always, "me, me, me." So, I'm happy. But it seems that when I have a problem, I find myself left alone. When I approach a friend, I have to muster up all the courage I have to try sneak in the topic of the problem I am facing. Trust me. I have always been a self-absorbed stuck up little bitch. This was never an issue for me. Right up until recently. Who the heck am I? When I actually finally bring up the problem I seem to get brushed off for every other thing. Am I being over sensitive? Have I forgotten the times where they did actually hear me out? Am I being selfish? Do I see nothing but myself? Maybe I am over-reacting or maybe I just need more friends.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
This Post is Just a Bundle of Joy to Read. Remember to LOL.
I'm tired.
Yes, that's how I'm going to start my post.
I'm tired. I don't want to sleep.
Why?
I'm thinking. Thinking of what? I'm wondering. Wondering about what?
Yes, that's how I'm going to start my post.
I'm tired. I don't want to sleep.
Why?
I'm thinking. Thinking of what? I'm wondering. Wondering about what?
Well, about how I got here. What I mean is, why I am sitting on my bed, wrapped in my yellow blanket, eyes puffy, half because I'm sleepy and half because I've been sobbing. And most importantly why my fingers find comfort in clattering on the keyboard at this insane hour.
A familiar place. I found myself at a familiar place when I was curled up under the sheets tearing away just wishing it wasn't so.
Now, now. If you think this is going to be an emo post over a boy of some sort, I can tell you that it is most definitely NOT. It is going to be an uber emo post though.
It has been a year of thinking and wondering and I have grown tired of it. Everybody has.
I remember the good ol' days where I was the most confident girl in the world. When every girl was obsessing about being skinny, I was convinced that I had the perfect figure. Fact was, I was leaning towards the chubby side. When every girl was trying to get the popular guy in school, I already knew that I had him in the grasp of my palm. So, here's the problem. Why am I scared of being alone? It just never occurred to me that this would be a problem. I mean, I have friends. And, they love me...right? I DO have enough friends, right? But even if I didn't, I'd always have family to rely on, correct? - No. Not exactly. They're all in a different country, remember silly billy? Oh. You'll be fine. Just all by yourself. - Won't I?
A familiar place. I found myself at a familiar place when I was curled up under the sheets tearing away just wishing it wasn't so.
Now, now. If you think this is going to be an emo post over a boy of some sort, I can tell you that it is most definitely NOT. It is going to be an uber emo post though.
It has been a year of thinking and wondering and I have grown tired of it. Everybody has.
I remember the good ol' days where I was the most confident girl in the world. When every girl was obsessing about being skinny, I was convinced that I had the perfect figure. Fact was, I was leaning towards the chubby side. When every girl was trying to get the popular guy in school, I already knew that I had him in the grasp of my palm. So, here's the problem. Why am I scared of being alone? It just never occurred to me that this would be a problem. I mean, I have friends. And, they love me...right? I DO have enough friends, right? But even if I didn't, I'd always have family to rely on, correct? - No. Not exactly. They're all in a different country, remember silly billy? Oh. You'll be fine. Just all by yourself. - Won't I?
Truthfully, I hate it. But I gotta be strong. I just gotta. I tried bringing it up once or twice with close friends. Felt a bit brushed off though. Maybe they had bigger issues. Mine's just not that big of a deal in comparison. *Maybe I am being oversensitive* I tried bringing it up with the boyfriend once, twice or more. Brushed off? I call it, brushed off in a nice way. It was more like, "You don't have that bad" or "There are people who have it worse" and the one I hate the most, "You still have me". Those are all just simply, BESIDES THE POINT! Hence, I found that it became much easier to pocket those feelings. I try to keep them in my back pocket, but some nights, I just can't help but to take them out, unfold them gently just to take a peek to see if they were still there. I want to discard of them. But I can't. I always leave small fragments lying around carelessly around the edges of my heart.
True. It isn't that big and issue. Parents moved. Sister went to study abroad. Its okay. Friends are here. Cousins are here. I have a boyfriend. Yes, I have sufficient people who love and care about me in my life. So what am I doing here, complaining like a mad woman about the ridiculously irrelevant "misery" I have in my life. Fine. I like self-pity. Don't judge. I have so many people I should thank God for. What I don't have right now, is a home. I live like a nomad. Wait. That's wrong. I am a freakin' nomad; dammit. All I want is to feel like I belong some where. When everyone retires from their social life and returns to their home, I am jealous. I am crazy-throw-a-fit kinda jealous. And that is hard to pull off. The rage, it's sometimes unbearable. But at the end of the day I realize that I had wasted a day being angry.
I'm insecure. A lot of decisions made in my life may flip at the wind of someone passing gas. *made no sense and I don't care* Every step in my life is a constant struggle because of the fear of making the wrong decision and ending up even more screwed up. I don't like cleaning up messes. Especially ones I make. For people who have seen my room, you know what I mean when I say I don't like cleaning messes. At this point, I don't know if I'll have a place to stay at the end of the month.
Sorry. When a girl needs to rant, she just has to. Plus, I felt like writing. It has been too long and my writing skills were rotting so fast it had mold on it. I have my self-pity moments and I want no judgement from this. I know writing this may cause some misunderstandings in my relationships but I just needed to get it off my chest so I might as well tell the entire world like a fool.
Thank you Patricia for offering to share your room with me. Ironically, it is the person with a small room who is not from selangor that offers to share that little space of hers with me. Not forgetting she is the kind of person who needs her alone time. In the beginning, I offered you nothing but bitchiness and in the end, you return me with kindness. I guess I have to eat a large helping of humble pie. You are God's blessing to me in disguise. A friend I would want to keep.
True. It isn't that big and issue. Parents moved. Sister went to study abroad. Its okay. Friends are here. Cousins are here. I have a boyfriend. Yes, I have sufficient people who love and care about me in my life. So what am I doing here, complaining like a mad woman about the ridiculously irrelevant "misery" I have in my life. Fine. I like self-pity. Don't judge. I have so many people I should thank God for. What I don't have right now, is a home. I live like a nomad. Wait. That's wrong. I am a freakin' nomad; dammit. All I want is to feel like I belong some where. When everyone retires from their social life and returns to their home, I am jealous. I am crazy-throw-a-fit kinda jealous. And that is hard to pull off. The rage, it's sometimes unbearable. But at the end of the day I realize that I had wasted a day being angry.
I'm insecure. A lot of decisions made in my life may flip at the wind of someone passing gas. *made no sense and I don't care* Every step in my life is a constant struggle because of the fear of making the wrong decision and ending up even more screwed up. I don't like cleaning up messes. Especially ones I make. For people who have seen my room, you know what I mean when I say I don't like cleaning messes. At this point, I don't know if I'll have a place to stay at the end of the month.
Sorry. When a girl needs to rant, she just has to. Plus, I felt like writing. It has been too long and my writing skills were rotting so fast it had mold on it. I have my self-pity moments and I want no judgement from this. I know writing this may cause some misunderstandings in my relationships but I just needed to get it off my chest so I might as well tell the entire world like a fool.
Thank you Patricia for offering to share your room with me. Ironically, it is the person with a small room who is not from selangor that offers to share that little space of hers with me. Not forgetting she is the kind of person who needs her alone time. In the beginning, I offered you nothing but bitchiness and in the end, you return me with kindness. I guess I have to eat a large helping of humble pie. You are God's blessing to me in disguise. A friend I would want to keep.
Grumpy is going to bed now.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Screams of Desperation
Its been 5 months after SPM and everince, I haven't studied... AT ALL!
Next week is exam week and I feel lost. I've forgotten how to study. Imagine my brain that has been hibernating for months. Its like a book that has been chucked at the corner of a shelf for months, a jewelry box that has been in the closet for months and is covered with a thick layer of dust. Now you get the picture? I need to blow that dust off and quick. The first few weeks of class was actually the most difficult period for me. I was not used to paying attention in class because I had stopped listening to my teachers ever since Form 1. Bad habits die hard. Plus, considering how rusty my brain was, pretty much only 20 percent was absorbed in. This meant I have alot of catching up to do.
Honestly speaking, thinking back, after Form 5 I felt rather invincible. In Primary School I used to be a top student. Unfortunately, when I started High School, my academic results started to deteriorate because boys, sports and club activities got in the way. By the time I reached Form 5, my results were crappy. My trials results should be thrown on a rough surface, trampled on by elephants, run over by tractors, soaked in cow dung and burnt. Then the ashes should be buried under a construction ground. That's how bad it was. AH! Dang! It wasn't that bad. I just like to exaggerate. But it was bad for my standards and my partents' as well. Then only 2 weeks before SPM, I pushed myself to study until my brains were totally worn out. I spent days in the library, from opening until closing.
There wasn't much time for me to cramp in both the Form 4 and 5 syllabus. But, with a lot of prayer and God's grace and mercy, I managed to some how pull it off and get 7A's. It was definitely tiring, those sleepless nights and weeks of burning midnight oil. So I promised myself and God that in the future I would be a nerd and start studying early.
I should slap myself for making empty promises. Seriously.
The outcome of my SPM results had made me feel like I could study anything in a short period of time. Hence, every time I think of opening my textbooks to study, I would procrastinate again.
Here I am, on the last week before taking midterms, blogging about how stupid I am for not starting revision when I have plans lined up for me on the weekend. Truthfully, its my own fault. This week I tried to rush all my assignments due this week. The reason I had to do that is because of pure stupidity, lousy time management and poor discipline. I procrastinated, again. Procrastination- its a dangerous thing.
'Procrastination killed the Candice'
I know. Its so uber lame.
Pretty much this week before exam I am supposed to be studying has been a total failure. I guess I have to cramp in all revision with whatever time I have left of the week.
"LORD, give me strength!"
My brain has to once again go through hell.
Next week is exam week and I feel lost. I've forgotten how to study. Imagine my brain that has been hibernating for months. Its like a book that has been chucked at the corner of a shelf for months, a jewelry box that has been in the closet for months and is covered with a thick layer of dust. Now you get the picture? I need to blow that dust off and quick. The first few weeks of class was actually the most difficult period for me. I was not used to paying attention in class because I had stopped listening to my teachers ever since Form 1. Bad habits die hard. Plus, considering how rusty my brain was, pretty much only 20 percent was absorbed in. This meant I have alot of catching up to do.
Honestly speaking, thinking back, after Form 5 I felt rather invincible. In Primary School I used to be a top student. Unfortunately, when I started High School, my academic results started to deteriorate because boys, sports and club activities got in the way. By the time I reached Form 5, my results were crappy. My trials results should be thrown on a rough surface, trampled on by elephants, run over by tractors, soaked in cow dung and burnt. Then the ashes should be buried under a construction ground. That's how bad it was. AH! Dang! It wasn't that bad. I just like to exaggerate. But it was bad for my standards and my partents' as well. Then only 2 weeks before SPM, I pushed myself to study until my brains were totally worn out. I spent days in the library, from opening until closing.
There wasn't much time for me to cramp in both the Form 4 and 5 syllabus. But, with a lot of prayer and God's grace and mercy, I managed to some how pull it off and get 7A's. It was definitely tiring, those sleepless nights and weeks of burning midnight oil. So I promised myself and God that in the future I would be a nerd and start studying early.
I should slap myself for making empty promises. Seriously.
The outcome of my SPM results had made me feel like I could study anything in a short period of time. Hence, every time I think of opening my textbooks to study, I would procrastinate again.
Here I am, on the last week before taking midterms, blogging about how stupid I am for not starting revision when I have plans lined up for me on the weekend. Truthfully, its my own fault. This week I tried to rush all my assignments due this week. The reason I had to do that is because of pure stupidity, lousy time management and poor discipline. I procrastinated, again. Procrastination- its a dangerous thing.
'Procrastination killed the Candice'
I know. Its so uber lame.
Pretty much this week before exam I am supposed to be studying has been a total failure. I guess I have to cramp in all revision with whatever time I have left of the week.
"LORD, give me strength!"
My brain has to once again go through hell.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Books vs Puffy Pillows
Books, Notes, Words... They haunt me even in my sleep. Midterms are only a few days away and I still have yet to make progress in my revision.
This is bad. Bad, I tell you!
I have jailed myself in my room only to leave when I need to eat or use the toilet. Unfortunately, temptation is right in my room. The greatest evil of all, the bed.
It is a silent killer that just lies there motionless. It never says a word but instead it uses seductive signals with its body indicating dangerous motives. It pulls you towards itself as if there is a magnetic force that surrounds it. The moment you come in contact with it, It indulges you in its arms, wrapping you so tightly, blurring all rationality and consciousness of mind. Hours and hours go by and you do not realise the damage that has been done. It takes you to a place where your mind wonders away. Further and further until you are hooked. When finally you gather enough will power to fight its evil, it is already too late. The damage has already been done. There's no way to turn back time now. All you can do is hope and hope that you can compensate for what you have done for your guilty pleasure. The bed-evil that cannot be resisted.
Sitting in my chair, guilty of a long satisfying nap, I stare at the words in my textbook. Thoughts going through my mind, I am still in a daze. The sinful snooze I had still lurked around in my mind. I still cannot focus. My mind starts to wonder again. I think of things that are so unrelated to my subjects. Things like,"I wonder how I'd look like if I were a monkey?" or "Do my feet stink?." The time ticks away, waiting for no one and definitely not for me. Suddenly I find myself wasting away precious time again. The skies are already pitch black. There are no stars in the sky for in this city the lights are brighter than the stars. Time is running out again. I need to study. I NEED TO STUDY!
Flipping through my books, my eyes divert to my facebook. "Ooh... Shannon commented on my picture. I wonder what she said." I get hooked on facebook for at least an hour. Then I realise the time and I swear out loud. I sense the urgency to revise again and so the first thing I have to do is... UPDATE MY FACEBOOK STATUS: Candice I am going to study now. I must, I must, I must.
Before I can close the tab someone comments on my new posted status. I cannot fight the temptation of reading it and replying it. Then another person comments. Dang! I hate how fast technology works these days. And so the night continues like this. Msn starts to call me into its traps now with its annoying rings. As my fingers clatter across the keyboard faster and faster, I have now forgotten about my revision. I look at the time after being engaged in a long and hearty conversation with a friend I see everyday in class. 2 a.m. the clock, I hate it but it is a Saint compared to all the other evil objects in my room. It is always truthful but never kind.
Now I am trying hard to concentrate on my books. But yawn after yawn occurs. My back aches from sitting at the table for hours. My eyes are now squinting more often than usual. I am tired. The bed starts calling me again. I can feel its arms creeping around me, serenading me with a lullaby. The air conditioner is in cahoots with the bed now. Its gentle cold wind blows against my skin. My eyes start to close and so does my books. I seem to have been hypnotized by the bed. My feet drag closer and closer to the bed. As my head hits the pillow... it is too late. Another day gone, and the week is ending. Time is running out.
Preparation for the exams, still at zero percent. My week before exam? It is no different from the week before.
This is bad. Bad, I tell you!
I have jailed myself in my room only to leave when I need to eat or use the toilet. Unfortunately, temptation is right in my room. The greatest evil of all, the bed.
It is a silent killer that just lies there motionless. It never says a word but instead it uses seductive signals with its body indicating dangerous motives. It pulls you towards itself as if there is a magnetic force that surrounds it. The moment you come in contact with it, It indulges you in its arms, wrapping you so tightly, blurring all rationality and consciousness of mind. Hours and hours go by and you do not realise the damage that has been done. It takes you to a place where your mind wonders away. Further and further until you are hooked. When finally you gather enough will power to fight its evil, it is already too late. The damage has already been done. There's no way to turn back time now. All you can do is hope and hope that you can compensate for what you have done for your guilty pleasure. The bed-evil that cannot be resisted.
Sitting in my chair, guilty of a long satisfying nap, I stare at the words in my textbook. Thoughts going through my mind, I am still in a daze. The sinful snooze I had still lurked around in my mind. I still cannot focus. My mind starts to wonder again. I think of things that are so unrelated to my subjects. Things like,"I wonder how I'd look like if I were a monkey?" or "Do my feet stink?." The time ticks away, waiting for no one and definitely not for me. Suddenly I find myself wasting away precious time again. The skies are already pitch black. There are no stars in the sky for in this city the lights are brighter than the stars. Time is running out again. I need to study. I NEED TO STUDY!
Flipping through my books, my eyes divert to my facebook. "Ooh... Shannon commented on my picture. I wonder what she said." I get hooked on facebook for at least an hour. Then I realise the time and I swear out loud. I sense the urgency to revise again and so the first thing I have to do is... UPDATE MY FACEBOOK STATUS: Candice I am going to study now. I must, I must, I must.
Before I can close the tab someone comments on my new posted status. I cannot fight the temptation of reading it and replying it. Then another person comments. Dang! I hate how fast technology works these days. And so the night continues like this. Msn starts to call me into its traps now with its annoying rings. As my fingers clatter across the keyboard faster and faster, I have now forgotten about my revision. I look at the time after being engaged in a long and hearty conversation with a friend I see everyday in class. 2 a.m. the clock, I hate it but it is a Saint compared to all the other evil objects in my room. It is always truthful but never kind.
Now I am trying hard to concentrate on my books. But yawn after yawn occurs. My back aches from sitting at the table for hours. My eyes are now squinting more often than usual. I am tired. The bed starts calling me again. I can feel its arms creeping around me, serenading me with a lullaby. The air conditioner is in cahoots with the bed now. Its gentle cold wind blows against my skin. My eyes start to close and so does my books. I seem to have been hypnotized by the bed. My feet drag closer and closer to the bed. As my head hits the pillow... it is too late. Another day gone, and the week is ending. Time is running out.
Preparation for the exams, still at zero percent. My week before exam? It is no different from the week before.
Friday, May 7, 2010
The Game that involves Small Balls and Long Hard Sticks
... Giggs has the ball, two Chelsea players on his tail, Neville is open, Giggs passes, Neville has the ball, running quickly, avoiding tackles from Drogba he passes to Rooney, Rooney, ROONEY,ROONEY... and he scores!...
*the crowd cheers*
Football, the most popular sport in the world. All the football fans around the world are linked by one sport. Isn't it amazing? *I sound like a Mass Comm text book- functions of mass media; linkage* Sorry, I just finished my first Mass Comm assignment. At least I am applying the knowledge. Miss Karmini will be proud. =D Should I do Harvard Referencing, then ?
One statement :
Sports, it is universal.
Sports has always been a part of my life, personally. Although I have short legs, abnormally large feet for a girl and run like a duck, I sill like the feeling of the sun on my skin and the adrenaline rush of playing sports. In my childhood days, which wasn't too long ago, I would play any sport. I was never the athlete in school. I was just willing to sweat and stand under the hot sun to enjoy a game. I was never embarrassed on how I waddled across the field, kicked the ball the wrong way or swung the racket wildly in the air but missing the ball totally. I could never excel in the sports in school because they all required running and I, obviously, can't.
My dad later on introduced golf to me and my sister. I didn't really enjoy it at first because it is an individual game and it was really boring just standing in one place learning how to hit a motionless ball. Where was the adrenaline? Where was the fun? But as soon as I got the hang of it, I got hooked. I soon had a good friend along side with me, learning the art of the sport.
Golf became my sport addiction. The best thing about it was that I didn't have to run. It was a walking game. *Thank God*
Many people call it an old man's game. Yes, I admit. It is rather boring to watch on TV if you don't understand the game and yes, there are many old men playing the game. But if you understand the game then its one hell of a game.
Golf is really challenging and it stimulates your brain cells. A good golf game is not based on impulse but on strategy. Its not just about swinging the golf club and hitting the ball blindly. It takes alot of mental strength and body coordination to hit the ball precisely at, what we call, the sweet spot. Imagine hitting a small dimpled ball while trying to focus on your wrists, knees and exertion of strength. The timimg must be precise to get a straight ball.
But being able to hit a straight ball doesn't make you a good golf player yet. There's still all the other skills that you have to master like chipping, putting and driving. Then there's hitting a draw ball, fade ball and a whole lot more. How good a player you are depends on your course management skills. The golf course is like a obstacle course. Every move made should be carefully thought through and executed after considering all risks. Mental strength also has a big influence on the game. A good golf player has to have the three C's; cool, calm and collected. Emotions will affect the result of the game. Etiquette is another thing that is taken very seriously in golf. This is why golf is also known as a gentleman's game.
I am not a super good golfer but I enjoy the game. It's actually good fun and definitely suitable for people who like to socialize. Unlike other games that require speed, golf gives the players time to bond on the course. In my 4 years of playing golf, I've had some awesome experiences.
I remember the first time I drove the buggy/golf cart. Oh my! I was only 15 then and I had no idea how to drive one.
It was during MSSJ (state level) when I first lay my hands on the wheel of the mini, battery running vehicle. I already had butterflies because I was so nervous about the competition and now, to add on the intensity, I had to drive a buggy when it was totally foreign to me. I placed my hands on the wheel, excited and nervous at the same time. I stepped on the peddle, trying not to exert too much pressure at first. All was going well. I actually got the hang of it pretty fast until I turned the wrong way and had to reverse. The boys, under 18 category was already teeing off. The crowd had been waved down to pin drop silence. A familiar face was standing at the tee box. The concentration on his face was intense. When suddenly this low hard scratch of metal and concrete echoed in the silence of the surrounding. I had reversed right up the concrete curb, scratching the bottom of the car as I accelerated backwards. Everyone had turned and looked at me, a frown pasted prominently on their foreheads. "SHHHHhhh... !" The marshal growled at me, pointing his index finger straight at me. The boy who was about to swing his driver looked up at me, his face no longer intense but now, it had transformed into a grin. "Sorry, Irvin, " I mouthed. He shook his head as if a pardoning and he looked back down at his ball.
From that day onwards, I always made sure I knew which way to steer when reversing my buggy or car. That day was one of those epic embarrassing moments that I will definitely have to live with for the rest of my life.
Golf has given me back so much. Friends that I consider family, complete with our golf 'parents'; my school golf/addmaths teacher. The both of them moulded u be the golf players we are today. They taught us that it isn't just about being a good player and winning competitions but also to be well-mannered and rule abiding. That's what being a good sportsman is about.
\
In the words of Tiger Woods, "I don't go into any tournament thinking it would be great to lose. I think it would be asinine to think that way."
*the crowd cheers*
Football, the most popular sport in the world. All the football fans around the world are linked by one sport. Isn't it amazing? *I sound like a Mass Comm text book- functions of mass media; linkage* Sorry, I just finished my first Mass Comm assignment. At least I am applying the knowledge. Miss Karmini will be proud. =D Should I do Harvard Referencing, then ?
One statement :
Sports, it is universal.
Sports has always been a part of my life, personally. Although I have short legs, abnormally large feet for a girl and run like a duck, I sill like the feeling of the sun on my skin and the adrenaline rush of playing sports. In my childhood days, which wasn't too long ago, I would play any sport. I was never the athlete in school. I was just willing to sweat and stand under the hot sun to enjoy a game. I was never embarrassed on how I waddled across the field, kicked the ball the wrong way or swung the racket wildly in the air but missing the ball totally. I could never excel in the sports in school because they all required running and I, obviously, can't.
My dad later on introduced golf to me and my sister. I didn't really enjoy it at first because it is an individual game and it was really boring just standing in one place learning how to hit a motionless ball. Where was the adrenaline? Where was the fun? But as soon as I got the hang of it, I got hooked. I soon had a good friend along side with me, learning the art of the sport.
Golf became my sport addiction. The best thing about it was that I didn't have to run. It was a walking game. *Thank God*
Many people call it an old man's game. Yes, I admit. It is rather boring to watch on TV if you don't understand the game and yes, there are many old men playing the game. But if you understand the game then its one hell of a game.
Golf is really challenging and it stimulates your brain cells. A good golf game is not based on impulse but on strategy. Its not just about swinging the golf club and hitting the ball blindly. It takes alot of mental strength and body coordination to hit the ball precisely at, what we call, the sweet spot. Imagine hitting a small dimpled ball while trying to focus on your wrists, knees and exertion of strength. The timimg must be precise to get a straight ball.
But being able to hit a straight ball doesn't make you a good golf player yet. There's still all the other skills that you have to master like chipping, putting and driving. Then there's hitting a draw ball, fade ball and a whole lot more. How good a player you are depends on your course management skills. The golf course is like a obstacle course. Every move made should be carefully thought through and executed after considering all risks. Mental strength also has a big influence on the game. A good golf player has to have the three C's; cool, calm and collected. Emotions will affect the result of the game. Etiquette is another thing that is taken very seriously in golf. This is why golf is also known as a gentleman's game.
I am not a super good golfer but I enjoy the game. It's actually good fun and definitely suitable for people who like to socialize. Unlike other games that require speed, golf gives the players time to bond on the course. In my 4 years of playing golf, I've had some awesome experiences.
I remember the first time I drove the buggy/golf cart. Oh my! I was only 15 then and I had no idea how to drive one.
It was during MSSJ (state level) when I first lay my hands on the wheel of the mini, battery running vehicle. I already had butterflies because I was so nervous about the competition and now, to add on the intensity, I had to drive a buggy when it was totally foreign to me. I placed my hands on the wheel, excited and nervous at the same time. I stepped on the peddle, trying not to exert too much pressure at first. All was going well. I actually got the hang of it pretty fast until I turned the wrong way and had to reverse. The boys, under 18 category was already teeing off. The crowd had been waved down to pin drop silence. A familiar face was standing at the tee box. The concentration on his face was intense. When suddenly this low hard scratch of metal and concrete echoed in the silence of the surrounding. I had reversed right up the concrete curb, scratching the bottom of the car as I accelerated backwards. Everyone had turned and looked at me, a frown pasted prominently on their foreheads. "SHHHHhhh... !" The marshal growled at me, pointing his index finger straight at me. The boy who was about to swing his driver looked up at me, his face no longer intense but now, it had transformed into a grin. "Sorry, Irvin, " I mouthed. He shook his head as if a pardoning and he looked back down at his ball.
From that day onwards, I always made sure I knew which way to steer when reversing my buggy or car. That day was one of those epic embarrassing moments that I will definitely have to live with for the rest of my life.
Golf has given me back so much. Friends that I consider family, complete with our golf 'parents'; my school golf/addmaths teacher. The both of them moulded u be the golf players we are today. They taught us that it isn't just about being a good player and winning competitions but also to be well-mannered and rule abiding. That's what being a good sportsman is about.
\Playing tournaments has given me exposure and experience that I never thought I could have gained in this lifetime. I have met many type of people from all around Malaysia, forming great friendships and making new connections.
Who knows, one day, they might just save my life. I have learnt how to be more sociable and confident of myself when meeting new people. Emotions that used to be wild and untamable are now more under control.
Who knew that just by swinging a iron stick at a ball not bigger than the fist could give teach me so many life lessons?
Sports, its not just fun, its beneficial too.
Golf, I just love it. The challenges of facing the course with only 14 iron sticks, one ball and gloves as a weapon, it is awesome. The challenge is different all the time, although the course is the same. But the feeling of standing under the sun or even under the rain sometimes, feeling the perspiration on my skin, looking at the green course, trees above filled with birds chirping away and taking in the fresh air in every pant, its just amazing.
In the words of Tiger Woods, "I don't go into any tournament thinking it would be great to lose. I think it would be asinine to think that way."
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
The rockin' beats within
It was a hot afternoon and the running water from the shower-head was just heaven to stand under. Music was blasting from the bathroom and it echoed through the whole neighbourhood. A loud, eeky voice that was obviously stunggling to hit all the high notes overwhelmed the loud music that could already be heard from miles away.
Since my adolecence years started, I always took my showers with the radio on. It was pretty much the only place I could sing at the top of my voice, unafraid to be heard because I thought nobody could hear me. *ya, right*
Then after 3 years of loud, horrible singing, I found out that actually all my neighbours could hear me when one of my neighbours told my mum, "Your daughter ah, very good at singing hor. Ask her next time sing Chinese songs. She sing Engrish songs, I don't know how to sing leh."
LIKE... ZOMG!
She was probably being sarcastic, but... I think I'll just assume that she meant it and I have a good voice. Eversince, I've been singing more in public. I am thick-skinned, you see. My friends say its annoying... But I know they like it. They seem to laugh alot when I sing. When people laugh its an indication that they're happy, no?
Music just turns my happy mood on. I get a bit high. I have all these weird dances and impressions for a few songs. When I hear the song 'Hey, Jude' all will hail me. AND, and, and... when I am rocking my air guitar, OMG! I bring the hiz house down. LOL. okay. enough self-praising. I feel so self-indulged now. But at least now you see how I am musically inclined! I had a video to show. But some problems occured when trying to upload.
try this link: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=390619030185#!/video/video.php?v=390619030185&ref=mf
Music, something everyone can relate to, no matter the genre. Music, it is within us all, even if it is burried deep down inside, it exists somewhere in our souls. Music helps us express ourselves when we find it too difficult to express our emotions.
Even in the Ice Ages music already originated. It was probably only the sound of the icy stones being drummed on with branches. Music later on evolved to the Mideval era. Then, Renaissance and later on in the 16th century, music started becoming more recognised with great composers like J.S.Bach who's death in 1750 marked the end of the baroque era. Mozart later on expanded classical music and following him closely was Beethoven who introduces the Romantic style into Classical. The Romantic era took over by storm with famous composers like Chopin. Then soon after, 20th century music came about.
But while all that was going on...
Some of the greatest artists were born;Frank Sinatra, Ambritha Franklin, Ben E King and Elvis Presley. Bands that took the world by storm like BeeGees and The Beatles also came about. Music quickly evolved into the modern days.
These days, there are new bands being formed everyday. I'm going to blog about 1 or 2 bands that are right here in Malaysia. First, a band that has current uprising popularity in Taylor's. Although the craze has not reached Lakeside, but they have already played in Subang and Sri Hartamas.
They call themselves 2nd to None. *please clap hands*
I know the guitarist personally, so I managed to get an interview over the phone.
History
Jon, the guitarist, originally was inspired by his sister's friends who were in bands, to start having a band of his own at the age of 12. A year later, he started high school in St. Francis Institution, Malacca. This was the place where the band started to come together.
Jon had met an old friend, Kim Wei from his primary school swimming days. They started reconnecting and talking about the idea of forming a band.
In form 2, Jon and Kim Wei was joined by Teh Teng Quan who played the drums. And so, they formed a 3 peice band with Jon on the guitar and Kim Wei on the bass. But Teng Quan soon broke under the pressure of feeling like he wasn't up to standard and so he left the band. He was quickly replaced by another drummer, Terry.
Jon took up the part of the vocalist in Form 3, but that didn't work out well because his focus on playing the guitar had defered. A new guitarist was brought in to resolve that problem. His name, Seth. They started writing their own songs and playing in small events around Malacca. Soon, the band started getting recognitionan and popularity was on the rise.
2 years later, after completing their form 5, the band started getting shaky due to the band members being pre-occupied with life. The drummer had gone to do his National Service and was unavailable to band practices for 3 months. More obstacles started to crop up after that. Seth had to leave the band temperorily for personal reasons. So now they were 2 members short.
But they soon saw the silver lining when they found a new vocalist, Gene to join the band. Jon had now gone back to being a full time guitarist. Terry, although back from NS, was still very busy and missed many jamming sessions. On mutual understanding, Terry left the band. Terence, another new drummer, *yes, there has been a series of drummers. For those counting, he is drummer number 3* Soon after, a 2nd gutarist, Jin Shan, joined the band.
Hence, the band was complete and here to stay. Recently they've had a series of gigs and played in two Taylor's events as guest performers.
Here's they're facebook link. http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/pages/2nd-To-None/128548021460?ref=ts
Here's a video of them playing at MMU faculty of Rock which they got 2nd place at. Its ironic that they got 2nd and their band's name is 2nd to NONE? so the band who got first is probably 'NONE'. LOL. sorry, couldn't help myself.
I should be getting payed for all this publicity. LOL
lyrics from one of their originals.
the first time when your eyes met mine,
you gave me butterflies,
the first time when you fell into my arms,
i felt the warmth of your love,
the first time when you walked in my way,
i knew you were the one,
the first time when i heard you speak,
you took my heart away
this could be it,
you're an impossible dream ,
you're the light in my darkest nights,
i might be crazy,but i know,
its all m y love for you
the first time i captured your smile,
i was head over heels,
the first time on bended knees,
you please be my everythin
this could be it,
you're an impossible dream,
you're the light in my darkest night
i might be crazy, but i know,
its all my love for you,
its all because of you,
i need your precious touch,
its all because of you
song writer: Jonathan Tan
Check them out.
There's another band. They're pretty popular in Monash. Yes, they are from Monash. Crossing Bouudaries. Check them out too. I am too lazy to continue this post... SO here's the link to their facebook. http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150200336705002#!/crossingboundaries
They have quite a few originals out that are pretty good. Personal favourite, 'I'm Sorry' . Check it out.
Since my adolecence years started, I always took my showers with the radio on. It was pretty much the only place I could sing at the top of my voice, unafraid to be heard because I thought nobody could hear me. *ya, right*
Then after 3 years of loud, horrible singing, I found out that actually all my neighbours could hear me when one of my neighbours told my mum, "Your daughter ah, very good at singing hor. Ask her next time sing Chinese songs. She sing Engrish songs, I don't know how to sing leh."
LIKE... ZOMG!
She was probably being sarcastic, but... I think I'll just assume that she meant it and I have a good voice. Eversince, I've been singing more in public. I am thick-skinned, you see. My friends say its annoying... But I know they like it. They seem to laugh alot when I sing. When people laugh its an indication that they're happy, no?
Music just turns my happy mood on. I get a bit high. I have all these weird dances and impressions for a few songs. When I hear the song 'Hey, Jude' all will hail me. AND, and, and... when I am rocking my air guitar, OMG! I bring the hiz house down. LOL. okay. enough self-praising. I feel so self-indulged now. But at least now you see how I am musically inclined! I had a video to show. But some problems occured when trying to upload.
try this link: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=390619030185#!/video/video.php?v=390619030185&ref=mf
Music, something everyone can relate to, no matter the genre. Music, it is within us all, even if it is burried deep down inside, it exists somewhere in our souls. Music helps us express ourselves when we find it too difficult to express our emotions.
Even in the Ice Ages music already originated. It was probably only the sound of the icy stones being drummed on with branches. Music later on evolved to the Mideval era. Then, Renaissance and later on in the 16th century, music started becoming more recognised with great composers like J.S.Bach who's death in 1750 marked the end of the baroque era. Mozart later on expanded classical music and following him closely was Beethoven who introduces the Romantic style into Classical. The Romantic era took over by storm with famous composers like Chopin. Then soon after, 20th century music came about.
But while all that was going on...
Some of the greatest artists were born;Frank Sinatra, Ambritha Franklin, Ben E King and Elvis Presley. Bands that took the world by storm like BeeGees and The Beatles also came about. Music quickly evolved into the modern days.
These days, there are new bands being formed everyday. I'm going to blog about 1 or 2 bands that are right here in Malaysia. First, a band that has current uprising popularity in Taylor's. Although the craze has not reached Lakeside, but they have already played in Subang and Sri Hartamas.
They call themselves 2nd to None. *please clap hands*
I know the guitarist personally, so I managed to get an interview over the phone.
History
Jon, the guitarist, originally was inspired by his sister's friends who were in bands, to start having a band of his own at the age of 12. A year later, he started high school in St. Francis Institution, Malacca. This was the place where the band started to come together.
Jon had met an old friend, Kim Wei from his primary school swimming days. They started reconnecting and talking about the idea of forming a band.
In form 2, Jon and Kim Wei was joined by Teh Teng Quan who played the drums. And so, they formed a 3 peice band with Jon on the guitar and Kim Wei on the bass. But Teng Quan soon broke under the pressure of feeling like he wasn't up to standard and so he left the band. He was quickly replaced by another drummer, Terry.
Jon took up the part of the vocalist in Form 3, but that didn't work out well because his focus on playing the guitar had defered. A new guitarist was brought in to resolve that problem. His name, Seth. They started writing their own songs and playing in small events around Malacca. Soon, the band started getting recognitionan and popularity was on the rise.
2 years later, after completing their form 5, the band started getting shaky due to the band members being pre-occupied with life. The drummer had gone to do his National Service and was unavailable to band practices for 3 months. More obstacles started to crop up after that. Seth had to leave the band temperorily for personal reasons. So now they were 2 members short.
But they soon saw the silver lining when they found a new vocalist, Gene to join the band. Jon had now gone back to being a full time guitarist. Terry, although back from NS, was still very busy and missed many jamming sessions. On mutual understanding, Terry left the band. Terence, another new drummer, *yes, there has been a series of drummers. For those counting, he is drummer number 3* Soon after, a 2nd gutarist, Jin Shan, joined the band.
Hence, the band was complete and here to stay. Recently they've had a series of gigs and played in two Taylor's events as guest performers.
Here's they're facebook link. http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/pages/2nd-To-None/128548021460?ref=ts
Here's a video of them playing at MMU faculty of Rock which they got 2nd place at. Its ironic that they got 2nd and their band's name is 2nd to NONE? so the band who got first is probably 'NONE'. LOL. sorry, couldn't help myself.
I should be getting payed for all this publicity. LOL
lyrics from one of their originals.
the first time when your eyes met mine,
you gave me butterflies,
the first time when you fell into my arms,
i felt the warmth of your love,
the first time when you walked in my way,
i knew you were the one,
the first time when i heard you speak,
you took my heart away
this could be it,
you're an impossible dream ,
you're the light in my darkest nights,
i might be crazy,but i know,
its all m y love for you
the first time i captured your smile,
i was head over heels,
the first time on bended knees,
you please be my everythin
this could be it,
you're an impossible dream,
you're the light in my darkest night
i might be crazy, but i know,
its all my love for you,
its all because of you,
i need your precious touch,
its all because of you
song writer: Jonathan Tan
Check them out.
There's another band. They're pretty popular in Monash. Yes, they are from Monash. Crossing Bouudaries. Check them out too. I am too lazy to continue this post... SO here's the link to their facebook. http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150200336705002#!/crossingboundaries
They have quite a few originals out that are pretty good. Personal favourite, 'I'm Sorry' . Check it out.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Lakeside from My side.
I remember my first day at Lakeside like it was just last week... Oh ya, it was. I was uberly excited. Well, not really, but still, it was a new beginning 3 weeks after my initial new beginning. Oh boy, this is confusing. Anyways, on my first day in Lakeside, I learned something new the very moment my lecturer, Mr Winston stepped in the class for Fundamentals of Management.
How many of you know what the short form 'fml' stands for?
I, for one, has never heard of it before.
So, that's the very first thing I learnt in Lakeside. I learnt that 'fml' stands for f*** my life. =D Very unforgettable.
Moving on, there are so many places I still haven't seen in Lakeside. Truthfully, I've only been to Block E, the food places and the library. Other than that, I haven't seen anything else. I heard Lakeside was supposed to be big. I've only discovered a incy-wincy, little part of campus, I guess.
No, I'm not very adventurous.
The lecture halls seem very pretty. Let me stress on the word, 'SEEM'. We don't get to use the lecture halls because there are only 41 people in our class. So unfortunate.
How many of you know what the short form 'fml' stands for?
I, for one, has never heard of it before.
So, that's the very first thing I learnt in Lakeside. I learnt that 'fml' stands for f*** my life. =D Very unforgettable.
Moving on, there are so many places I still haven't seen in Lakeside. Truthfully, I've only been to Block E, the food places and the library. Other than that, I haven't seen anything else. I heard Lakeside was supposed to be big. I've only discovered a incy-wincy, little part of campus, I guess.
No, I'm not very adventurous.
The lecture halls seem very pretty. Let me stress on the word, 'SEEM'. We don't get to use the lecture halls because there are only 41 people in our class. So unfortunate.
While sitting on the stairway outside class, Michele, Jeannette and I spotted cows. How awesome is that! Now I know where the cow farm is. The cows are so cute! Despite the smell, I still think they are uberly cute. I wonder if we can visit the cow farm.
You know how Taylor's has 4 campuses? Well, so far I've only been to the Pj campus, Lakeside and now, Sri Hartamas.
I would describe it as Lakeside, smaller, compressed.
Its small, but really the interior is really modern and reminds me so much of a mini version of Lakeside.
Sri Hartamas.
Lakeside.
See the similarities? Or is it just me?
Honestly, I like the feeling in Sri Hartamas, although I don't know anyone there but there's a kind of warm family feel there. Because its so small, almost everyone knows everyone, whereas in Lakeside, people just walk at a fast pace, hustling to classes without acknowledging anyone except their friends. I, am no exception.
One day, I hope everyone in Lakeside become friends. That'll be awesome. 10 000 people, ALL know each other. Imagine THAT! Imagine if the cows could talk and were friends with us too, if the table and chairs could sing and the walls smiled at us every time we walk pass. Wouldn't that just be outta this world?
Okay, okay... I am obviously going out of topic. Back to topic, food in Lakeside, not so great and really expensive. I've been eating at Crispy Popiah almost everyday because its so GOOD compared to everything else. The prices there are pretty reasonable compared to everything else in Lakeside. Yum, Yum, in my tum. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. *licks lips and rubs belly* But the thing is, its so hard to get a table at any food shop because there is always so many hungry people. WE NEED MORE FOOD PLACES *with cheap prices and a million tables. =D
The toilets in Lakeside are really confusing. I entered the male toilet a few times already. The symbols are so similar. I can't tell if its a man or a lady with a skirt. Its so weird. But the awesome thing about the toilets is that there are sufficient mirrors. Plus, there are toilets almost everywhere. So if your bladder is really full and about to burst, no worries, there's always a toilet nearby somewhere. Just be careful you enter the right toilet.
I must apologise for this post and I think I better stop here since the whole post I've been writing a whole load of nonsense. =D
All in all, after careful analysis and observation, my conclusion is that Lakeside has its awesome side and its not so awesome side.
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